On hearing of your father's death (1945)

Eileen’s brother, my Uncle Bert, joined the RAF, leaving Auntie Gwen to run the flower shop in West London. After initial training, Bert was told he wasn’t fit to fly but became a radio operator and was posted to North Africa. A chirpy Londoner, Bert sent a series of letters and cards as his units travelled across North Africa and then through Italy.

His first letter of 1945 followed news of his father's - my grandfather's - death from a heart attack on Christmas Day, 1944.


21/1/45



RAF Signals, “G” Air Section, 15 Army Group (B.S), C.M.F.


Dear Eileen 

"Mum and Dad" - Ealing, 1944

Thank you for your two letters explaining things so nicely. I received those two and Gwen’s together on the 20th – three weeks after they were written… 
You refer to two letters written by Gwen saying that Dad was seriously ill. I am afraid they have not arrived. The fault was in using an American address, they go to America first. So you can imagine the shock was pretty acute.
I think the last letter I had from home before yours of 20th was from Dad himself when he was recovering from ‘flu. … I had a feeling something was wrong and when I saw three letters bearing Golders Green postmark, I knew something had happened.
I am afraid it hit me hard. It was so unexpected. Yesterday I had no inclination to do anything but sit and think. The lads were very decent here, they carried on without bothering me and brought all my meals to me in the tent. Today however I’m OK but it will take a long time to realise that he is no longer with us.
Poor old Dad. He was so looking forward to his retirement in a couple of years. It was the thing he could always look to when work really got on top of him. He had made such plans I know. Perhaps it was all for the best for if his heart was permanently u/s he would never have been happy not being able to potter about. I would have liked to have seen him just once again.
How is Mum taking it I wonder. Her loss is much greater than ours. To have borne his children and shared the hard times of early marriage as well as the happier times must make her part of him.
It is a pity I didn’t know sooner, not that it would have made any difference and I fully appreciate your feelings about cabling me, but up until yesterday I have thought of you all as the family as it used to be at Christmas time.

I imagined you all spending a quiet time at home and on Thursday 18th I had half an hour’s programme of my selection in the “It’s up to you” series on the General Forces programme. I wondered if Mum, Dad and Gwen were sitting round the fire listening to it too. Still, it makes no real difference. 
Bert gets to replay his selection in 1985 - but what were they?

Our chief concern is Mum. I do hope she pulls through. I wrote to her, poor dear, first. I am at a loss for words on occasions such as these. Written words look so cheap and are so inadequate when one’s feelings are so deep.
I am afraid my knowledge of cremations is very little. Is there some token of remembrance? Are you thinking of having some small memorial? I don’t know what everyone’s ideas are but if anything is under consideration I would suggest something that could be used in St.Clement’s.
You will see I have another address. This is the base address but I have made arrangements for my mail to be expressed to me from there so it should reach me in ten days from England at the longest.
Drop me a few lines fairly frequently if you can, even if its only one side of an air letter, for I expect Gwen will have many things to do and Mum won’t feel like it.
Cheerio 
Bert





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